I don’t usually do the word of the year thing, and I don’t really do resolutions very well. I just can’t keep to one thing for an entire year.
This year, though, God pretty clearly gave me a word that would be my focus.
I will say that I was pretty curious at the beginning of the year, and I was looking forward to a lot of love, hugs, and feel-good moments to come. Wouldn’t you?
Well, I’m here to tell you that it didn’t go quite as planned.
Yes, there were some wonderful moments. In fact, there were lots of positive moments that affirmed and applauded who I am and what I am doing. There were many people who told me that they treasured and valued me.
My daughter got engaged to a wonderful man who is already a part of the family, and we are all looking forward to making it official.
Lots of wonderful things.
It was a great year, and yet some parts of it were really difficult.
There were some old wounds that were reopened, and surprisingly they still really hurt. And they were wounds that clearly demonstrated ways that I was not beloved by some people in my life.
I was confused and angry as I sat in my woundedness, wondering how this could possibly fit with my word of the year.
Why would God open up these injuries again and bring things to the surface when I was doing quite well with them being tucked away and left alone?
As I stepped through the minefield, I slowly began to realize that this was exactly what it meant to be Beloved.
Tucked away was not healed. Left alone was not reunited. It was not enough. I was meant for more, and God was dogged in getting it to me.
Fortunately, I had my word to rely on. I had heard it so clearly, that I knew it was a promise that I could rest in. It gave me the determination to keep going to prayer and asking for clarity. It gave me hope to sit in the sorrow, knowing that some things have to be brought up in order to be let go.
And slowly, ever so slowly, the healing began to take hold. I didn’t want slowly, I wanted miraculous. But in the slowly, I watched grace build, and I watched lives change. I watched truth land deeply and transformations take place.
Beloved? Like I never knew before.
Tell me, did you have a word this year? Will you look for one this next year?
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If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. (1 Cor 13:1) I have written many drafts trying to decide what to say about the events of Janu